I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
