It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
