Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
