he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
