Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
