he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
