He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
