i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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