So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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