How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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