The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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