This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
