I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
