The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
