he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I'm both gender and math confused
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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