I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
