He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize