this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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