Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
