I cannot find my penis.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
