So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We left the knife in your bed.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
