Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
