Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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