I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
