And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
