He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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