Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
