If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
