the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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