I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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