Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
