You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
