I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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