now i know why i became what i already was.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
