"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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