Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
