Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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