Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
