I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
