okay pat passed out under dana's car
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
