wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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