Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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