Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
