I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
