Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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