Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
