It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
