I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
