we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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