I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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